Complexity
by faux nostalgia
Summary: fate only gave them a few days to realize and savvy their sentimental emotions, but only one last night of one last chance to make a move they couldn't do. MuFuu. Prequel of 'Simplicity'.
1. I Am Here, Mugen

A/N: I don't own Samurai Champloo or the familiar writing of the summary in which I have reworded a little. This the prequel of _Simplicity_. Rated T-plus-plus for language.

* * *

C O M P L E X I T Y

_what if, for example, you create a different emotion in order to replace an unbearable one? won't you feel like you can forget the awful feeling, even for a moment? of course… there's just no way you can do it… just like that.  
_- Toko Kawai

* * *

I Am Here

* * *

I have no perfect figure. I have no perfect chest. I don't even have the talent to seduce. But I have a body. . . I have a chest. . . and aren't these kind words that can come out of my mouth enough to lull an ear?

Obviously, _you_ don't think so. And _you_ don't have enough dignity to SHUT UP next door with all those women ravishing your ugly body.

Who do they see in you? Seriously. Just _what_ do they see?

That ugly wild hair that makes you look like a stupid chimp that you already are? That stupid no-samurai-talent that you have? You're not even a samurai. Why do you carry a sword to make it look like you are?

Oh, that's right.

You're a criminal. You learn how to survive from life with killing while I learn how to survive from disgusting hungry men wanting to fulfill their fantasies by making it come true using me.

_"Mugen. . .!"_

All those ugly moans next door just made me realize. . . what I truly hate about you. It kept me sane enough to drown out the groaning with my own thoughts of hate. What I hate the most is your stupid face. Go shave or something, for a change. Go wash your face. Go take a really long bath where it includes you dipping your whole head under water for three hours.

Even better, why don't you just stay beneath the water until your stench disappears.

Not that it will. . .

That's what I think when I see you, going to the bathhouse, walking around, gobbling as much food as you can than me, and just plain sitting on a corner being a loner.

_Go clean yourself, you meanie. _

Clean yourself from those women filth. Get rid of those disgusting fragrance of seduction. Get rid of the thoughts that come to your head about going in those women. Get rid of the thoughts of women you'd like to do in your head. Get rid of your stupid habits.

I don't like it it at all.

_"Mugen. . .!" _

I grab a pillow and press it against my face.

Enough.

_I despise you._ I hate you so much.

This is the last night we all have before I leave you two. Yet you do nothing but make love right beside my room. I'm leaving you both tomorrow forever. Don't you know that? Hold on. . . I didn't tell you. Nor am I planning to. I try not to listen to the stupid moaning I'm sure Jin could also hear. Are they making out already? Heat crawls up my cheeks, not from embarrassment, but from a strange pang of small jealousy.

I've never had sex before, nor have I ever kissed anyone. So what if I'm still a virgin at the age of fifteen? It means I'm trying to keep myself pure, you filthy wild man. But I will never think about having sex with _you_. I'll only sin my promises to find the perfect man. A man that is a complete opposite of you. I hate you, you know that. I really, really hate you.

_"Uh. . . lady, hold on. . ."_

I hear your voice but another woman protests and begins to groan. I growl and can do nothing but lie here on my bed, trying not to listen to you.

_" Who'd want an ugly imp like you? Who'd want a stupid bully like you to live on this earth? Nobody wants you to live, you damned hell-born-hell-dead bastard‼ "_

I want to tell you that every time you aggravate me, but they wouldn't come out. I let you say cruel things to me, but nothing crueler comes back out of my own mouth. Because I know that when I say those dirtied sentences to you, not only will you secretly hurt, _I_ will secretly regret my words, too. Still, you are so cruel, did you know that?

But I do nothing.

Because you've become someone more than a bodyguard to me.

Possibly. . . a friend?

That's what you've become. And I hate that I've accepted you as a friend. There is nothing about you that I like. There is nothing nice I can think of for you, omit the stupid damsel-in-distress saving crap. Yet, you still tag along beside me with Jin.

Have you accepted me as a human being, too?

A human girl?

A _friend_?

When I see you alone I think,_ 'this guy can take care of himself,'_ before I even knew who you were. Now thoughts became clear as to thinking that,_ 'this man shouldn't be alone too long.'_ Because I know, you're secretly hurting. When I see you, Jin and I together, walking down the road to find my Sunflower Samurai, I think about how much fun we'd have together if we keep up this journey. I think about how much I'm going to know you guys so well.

That one night around the campfire where we told each other's secrets (although you'd look like you wouldn't care if anybody spilled anyone's secret. You'd just kill them, right?). . . you may not know, but I'll never forget that.

And I try not to think about the end when all these will be gone. But it'll be tomorrow. I'm leaving you both of no words of farewell.

Without thinking, I jump off my bed and rub the weariness under my eyes. With these much hours I have left with you, what am I supposed to do or say? Barge in and join the other women with you?

Hell no.

Say how much I hate that I don't hate you? Maybe not. But why do I like you? I think back as to why but my head comes up blank. Because you've been kind enough to help me find find the person I'm looking for? That made a little sense but it still wasn't enough.

Every time I ask my self why I like you, my only thought is, _'why this ugly criminal of all the other innocent people in the world?'_

I don't even know.

I marched out of my room and headed towards yours. With a huge sigh to encourage me, I act my composure, and slid the door open as loud and quick as I could.

_"DAMMIT, MUGEN, FOR GOD'S SAKE, GEEZ‼" _

"Hello, Mugen. . ." came out instead.

I see three women piled up on top of you that I can barely see you. I don't know why, but I was happy that they were wearing clothes.

_. . .why?_

Your head pops out of a gap and you sucked in a deep breath. Is it just me or did you look a little. . . _happy. . . _to see _me_?

Is it just me or was I a little relieve that you weren't doing anything?

_. . .why?_

You look at me and tried to bring your arm out.

"Hey, you, good timing. Help me get these bitche—"

_"MUGEN! Just what the HELL do you think you're planning to do in the middle of the night BESIDE my room?‼ I have EARS, too, you know, you stupid, stupid, dumb, idiotic B A S T A R D‼ Stop doing this or I'll kick your ass OUT OF THIS INN‼‼" _

. . .was what I wanted to say.

Instead, I frowned and held the edge of the sliding door tighter, giving him an equal stare.

"Mugen. If you're gonna do that all night, please keep it down."

I must have been really surprised inside when I saw a hint of stunned from your face. But it resides when you suddenly frowned.

"The fuck you talkin' about? These bitches came onto me first when I was sleeping. Why would I wanna fuck 'em when I just wanna fucking sleep for a change?"

For a moment there. . . even for just a tiny moment. . . under these circumstances. . . I wanted to cry.

Partly because of what he said and what it meant.

Out of happiness. . . content. . . relief. . . I don't know.

I didn't understand that time, but I just wanted to cry so badly, and maybe hug him and say _I'll miss you so much the most, Mugen_.

I stopped myself by rolling my eyes.

"Whatever, Mugen," I sighed, "just go to sleep after. And goodnight."

I know he was about to say something but I just slid the door close and left him the way he is. Whatever motive I have next after that was zero and I just zoned out and stood outside his room, looking at the rice paper walls that bordered between his space and mine, as if I can see through them and I'm searching for his figure.

_He wasn't having sex with them. . .!_

I was quiet for a second and stared at the door.

_He wasn't making love. . .!_

_Stupid_, I think as I slowly pouted.

But I'm so happy to see that you aren't doing things I normally would suspect you do every time we go to a new town.

I wanted to say_ I really like you_ but that would make our relationship even stranger.

Maybe what we are right now is enough. . .?

What I hate about you is that you're so strange.

You fight for no reason. . . then you fight for a cause.

I don't get you.

You don't want to hang around with me anymore, but then you come back following me.

There is absolutely nothing about you that I would be turned on.

You don't really have the figure.

You don't have enough heart.

But you can get any woman you want.

I don't get you at all.

When I see you, I think to myself, _'he's not bad at all once you pass through his beastliness and get to know him.'_

When I see him hiding his pain, I think to myself, _'it's not nice to press everything inside. It'll only make you look uglier and meaner. . . kind of like what you look like now.'_

Because I know what it feels like to press your pains.

I may look normal to you, but all I have are you two and I wouldn't want to lose the only person I truly want to accept me in return.

When I see you with other women, even if it's just for fun, my mind races to a point where I can't follow its trail anymore.

Because. . . _'here. . . I am here. . .'_

Every syllable has its meaning and the one that I can't quite understand dances like the wind, unable to keep me thinking straight.

_'. . . See me, Mugen, because I'm here, too.'_

I think that as I walk back to my room, wondering to whichever Gods out there why I didn't fall head over heels with Jin instead.

-

-

-

**Three Minutes Later. . .**

"_Shit, let me sleep, you fucking bitches. . .!_"

I'm quite surprised that you, Mugen the womanizer, would say such things to women. I never thought that one night in my whole life you'd want to _sleep_ instead of fucking girls. Here I am back on my bed, hoping that telling you to keep it down would actually work.

I suppose it didn't, did it?

Because you're as fucking loud as ever.

"_Mugen. . .! Come on. . .!_"

"_Leave me the fuck alone._"

I snorted, hoping that it wasn't too loud. I press the hem of my blanket over my mouth.

"_But. . . we've got nothing to do tonight. . ._"

"_Why don't you all just fucking sleep? That's what I'm _trying_ to fucking do."_

There was an obvious eye-rolling you must've done when all three women groaned with disappointment.

"_But. . .!_"

You growl. I hear a faint thud against the wall I'm facing and I see that the rice paper wall is a little dented above my head. That must be your pillow.

Why, Mugen. . . are you trying not to kick them out with your foot?

"_FUCK OFF!_"

I bit my bottom lip and pushed the cloth against my mouth. I'm really trying not to laugh, Mugen. I really, _really_ am trying.

"_Fine. . .!_"

"_Asshole!_"

"_Jerk!_"

You've never acted like this, especially this morning when you and I had a little eating battle of 100 bowls of eels and rice. . .

-

-

-

**Inn Bargain: 100 bowls of unagi-don or more in less than an hour and all is _FREE FREE FREE!_**

_Fuu, Mugen, and Jin stared at the small sign barely seen under the inn entrance door window. With a happy leap, Fuu smacked the window with two hands and observed the sign closer against her nose. _

_"Hey, hey! Why don't we try this?" she asked. "A hundred bowls should be enough to fill our stomachs for today! It'll be like last time at that eating contest!"_

_"And, shit, maybe another hundred more tonight," Mugen did the same and pressed his face against the window beside hers, peering inside. He ignored the costumers looking at them and scanned the food that was served on each tables. _

_"Ooh, one hundred bowls," Fuu breathed cheerily, "I wonder if that'll fill my stomach." _

_"Fuck that, it'll fill _mine

_"Mugen, you barely ate fifty bowls from that last contest and you think you'd finish one hundred?" Fuu challenged, "let's see you try."_

_"I will, bitch," Mugen growled and pressed his face closer against the glass, squinting his eyes at the served dishes, omitting the uneasy gazes. "Just watch me."_

_"Do you wanna try, Jin?" Fuu asked, still glueing her face against the window._

_Mugen and Fuu watched as Jin marched along some of the empty seats, obviously inside the inn already. He shot them a quick look and sat on a table close in front of them. _

_"That asshole!" Mugen snarled. He pulled his face off the window and ran inside the hostelry._

_"Hey, wait up!" Fuu cried, following his suit. _

_"How may I help you, miss? Sirs?" a waitress smiled at them as Fuu and Mugen took a seat in front of Jin. _

_"Um, yes, we'd like to try the inn bargain, please?" Fuu smiled. _

_The waitress looked at her innocent smile to her stomach then back at her face and smiled once again, toothier this time. _This child won't even last three bowls! _she thought._

_"Why yes!" she clapped her hands, "One hundred bowls in an hour, no less, will give you and any other companions a huge banquet of free meal for tonight! _More_ than a hundred bowls will allow you to stay in the inn free for three days with the remaining days of free food! But, I warn you! _Nobody _ever finishes their fifty-one-th bowl!_"

. . .without leaving the inn with a pain-stakingly hurtful stomach and food poisoning for one month_, her twisted happy face told them. Oblivious, Fuu and Mugen didn't see it. Jin, though, caught it and merely kept his face compose from looking way too bemused. _

_"Just give us the damn food, woman," Mugen smacked the table angrily. _

_Fuu smacked him from behind his head hard, causing him to bang his face on the table._

_"Mugen! Stop being so rude!" she yelled. She turned to the woman. "Yes, please!"_—_"you fucking, bitch!" Mugen growled_—_"Give us your first batch!" She looked at Jin, "how about you, Jin?"_

_Jin held out his forefinger and pushed his glasses in place, closing his eyes. _

_"Happy Combo B, please, no side stuff, just the main course."_

_"Alright, comin' right up," the waitress smiled and quickly left the table. _

_"Hey, Jin, how come you never order as much as I, or the pig-head, do?" Fuu frowned, "it'd be nice to fill up your belly completely with us."_

_Said name calmly closed his eyes. _

_"Unfortunately, I don't have a stomach of a bottomless pit of an endless universe as you do, Fuu. And a rotting belly of food poisoning and shit like the idiot," he answered coolly. _

_A chair fell with a loud thud. Mugen stood up quickly and slid his sword off his sheath, pointing it an inch away from Jin's bottom lip, a feral look in his face._

_"What's that, ass wipe?" he sneered, gritting his teeth._

_"Mugen!" Fuu yelled._

_"I'm only being truthful," Jin replied._

_"Say that one more time and I'll scrape your fucking lip off your fucking ugly skin, _fuck-face.

_A few costumers began to murmur, some leaving in fear of his threat. Fuu sighed and place a chin on her palm, looking out the window with a fed-up look. _

_"Geez, really," she muttered," every time we find an inn, you guys. . . _every_ time."_

_"I said, I'm only saying what needs to be heard," Jin said. "Unfortunately, your hearing isn't getting any--"_

_He swiped one of his sword off from his side and easily blocked Mugen's swing._

_"Really, learn how to use your sword."_

_Mugen growled and jumped onto the table. He pushed his sword down with as much force as the table began to tip over from his feet friction._

_"Oh dear," a woman whispered to Fuu from behind, "this never happened before."_

_Another woman from the same table nodded as the third one leaned against Fuu and whispered, "are they always this feisty?"_

_Fuu snorted._

_"Believe me. _Feisty_ isn't the word. More like '_beasts

_She raised as eyebrow when all three woman giggled. _

_"You hear that, ladies? Beasts!"_

_"Mugen, she says, too! A wonderful name!"_

_Fuu turned back around and stood up. She smacked the table and adjusted it back on it's four legs, causing Mugen to wobbled a little. _

_"Every single time, you morons!" she screamed, grabbing Mugen's ankle and pulled it hard until he fell flat on his face, hard._

_"Bitch!"_

_"Stoppit!" Fuu shrieked, "or else we WON'T. GET. OUR. BARGAAINN!"_

_Luckily, it shut them up._

-

-

_"Eigh. . . eighty-nine. . .! eighty-nine bowls!" _

_Waitresses and chiefs watched as Fuu gobbled one bite a bowl after bowls._

_"Ninety-two. . . ninety-four. . .. n-ninety-eight. . .!"_

_"Chief, she hasn't even gotten a food poisoning!"_

_"Surprising! How is the other doing?"_

_"He collapsed a long time ago. . . from his fifty-one-th bowl. . ."_

_"Figures--"_

_"Ahh! Done!" Fuu slammed her one-hundred-twentieth bowl and leaned back against her chair. Jin politely kept on dabbing his napkin on his already cleaned lips, hiding his surprised and, as always, stunned look as he stared at the piles of bowls that nearly obscured Fuu's (ten times as) chubby face. _

_"More than one hundred bowls!" Fuu jumped up in the air with happiness (but seeing how plump she had gotten, she only made it at least one and a half inches off the ground), "free nights and meals!"_

_She hopped around Jin and squealed. _

_"I told you there'd be no problem when we get to the next town!" she grinned, unknowing that he was trying to snub her intentionally. She strode on the other side to tell Mugen. "No more camping outside!"_

_"Mugen! Stupid, wake up!" she screamed at his ears._

_He was limp on the floor with a stomach twice the size of his body. He rose his hand up and groaned. _

_"Just what. . . the hell. . . is in those shit! Medicine," he told her. "Get me medi. . . cine, bi. . . _tch

_"That doesn't matter, I got us three nights of free rent and meals! All thanks to me!" Fuu smiled, pulled Mugen off his feet, and grabbed his hands to lead him in an aching dance of celebration. _

_"Oh. Shit," Mugen puffed his cheeks and vomited._

—

**to be continued. **expect more updates from me sooner than you'd think.


	2. Here I Am, Fuu

A/N: I don't own nothing but my fanfics. The 'you's' are directed to Mugen (and) Fuu. sorry :) i got impatient and wanted to post this right away because this is my favourite written fanfic (AND the first mufuu fanfic i ever finished).

* * *

C O M P L E X I T Y

because reasoning love over with hate is hard. And any chances that would have been will never be there.

* * *

Here I Am

Those women passed by you, giving you a flirty look but you just kept eating, oblivious to the surprising fact that they had taken an interest in you. I even told you they were checking you out. Even Jin is catching on with my concern when you said 'to fuck with them'.

I mean, no offense, Mugen, but I have _never_ remembered any women who actually hit on you _first_ before you could to them. Those who actually did hit on you first were prostitutes.

"_See if we care when you come back on your knees wanting us__‼_"

I really don't get you. Not at all.

"_Go to hell jerk_—"

"_Just leave me the fuck alone!_"

But the thought of you _refusing women_?

SERIOUSLY funny.

My mask of pride fell for a second as I lost all thought and started laughing out loud. Quickly, I shut my mouth and bit my upper lip. I don't hear anything, and hope you didn't hear me. These rice paper walls are really, really thin you could probably hear me breathing really loud and nervously.

Why is such a large inn not a sound-proof wooden walls? I don't blame anyone who never rents in this inn. It's probably an awful place to have sex. And coming from me, even I have to agree.

"The worse place," I mumbled, "really, the worst place to make out."

Many men fulfill their desires in any way they could in this hectic era. There was no sure whether to trust a person or not. Trusting Jin was a good thing, but I'm not so sure if trusting Mugen was a good idea, although I hired him as my first bodyguard.

I'm still quite hesitant about you. . . yet pretty bold to say what I want to say to you. . . right? Like. . . your ugly, lazy, stupid, a monkey, an asshole, a jerk, a stupid-head, a dumbass, you can't even do anything right for one day, I don't need you anyway, shut up, step off I'm taking a bath, I _so_ do have the figure. . .!

Yet never things things like,_ 'it's okay, Mugen. You aren't alone,'_ or_ 'I know your pain,_' or _'it's okay.'_ They're really hard to say, even expressing to you. Especially when all I want to say is, _'here I am, Mugen.'_

Never things like that. Because if I say that. . . wouldn't you do really nasty things to me? To my body? To my heart?

And if you do. . . how am I, then, suppose to leave you tomorrow? If you do nasty things to me. . . then I'm going to be bound by you forever. You may not be the type who wants a woman forever, but I'm the type who wants a man forever. Just one and it's enough.

I'm not the type brave enough to tell you that it's you I may _possibly_ want. Because you might dirty me, like all other women you reap, sow, then throw. I don't want to be a seed that will never grow into a full-grown flower because of you. I don't want to be a person who fulfills your disgusting fantasies and uses me like a toy like all men wants. I just want to be the person who is just your person. A person who is just yours. But then again. . .

"If you wanna do it, you gotta do it, right?" I muttered to myself sulkily, "if you have no shame to touch me in a filthy and revolting way, that is. Even just _touching_ me in any way innocently whatsoever. . ."—I growl a little, from surfacing frustration and grip onto my blanket—"Ugh. . . I _hate_ men like that. . . God, I do. . ."

What I hate about you, Mugen, is that you only care about money, gambling, food, and big-breasted women.

Sometimes, it doesn't hurt to save money on your own, know what food's not poisonous or poisonous, and _actually_ look at other women who aren't big-breasted. I peek at my chest through the folds of my pink kimono and brooded. Just because I have small breast doesn't mean that you have to avoid my gaze every time.

I really hate that about you. Especially your self-hatred. You're so used to secretly hating yourself, you throw away everything else and solve your problems with blood and death. It doesn't matter who dies in your eyes, as long as you shed that many blood. I know that no matter how un-scarred your skin is, I know you still cut yourself by slicing other people's souls. It's not that you hide pain by killing yourself. It's that you bring pain to yourself by killing those who had nothing to do to you.

Do you want to die so much?

Do you hate living in this world so much that you'd rather walk without a living soul in your body and continue murdering the lives of humans with a life?

You're not as handsome as Jin or any other guy. You're not as nice as other people. And you're obviously not as human as any other humans I know. But maybe I don't hate that about you.

I don't hate that you still stay with me to help me find my Samurai. I hate that you still tolerate with me even if I aggravated you or slow you down. I don't hate that you still risk saving me no matter how much trouble I put you in getting into any danger.

Still. . . I hate that you don't see me. I hate that you don't know I'm here, too. That you don't even care about thinking that someday, we'd be separated forever. I hate that part about you.

"Idiot," I mutter, praying you won't hear me snivle as I relinquish to the wetness on my cheeks and my pillow. I try to mean them, but my heart is always feeling the opposite. "I really—

* * *

—_hate you so much, Mugen."_

I stop midway before my hand reaches the sliding rice paper door, fightin' the urge to bang it open an' demand why you're actin' so fuckin' strange tonight.

I've been standin' there forever, listenin' to you blabbin' to yourself with a passive look on my face.

I let my hand freeze in mid air an' watch the rice paper door that bordered the space between you an' I.

There are bags under my eyes, wantin' to sleep an' kickin' off those bitches who wanted to fuck. If it wasn't for that shit your bought for my stomach, I'd've been barfin' my ass off all night. Then again, you just had to spend most of the fuckin' money for a stupid cause.

When you came (barged in, actually) in my room with a straight face, I thought maybe you'd kick me outta my room (inn).

But tellin' me to keep it down? I know that somethin's obviously fuckin' wit' you. An' goin' out of my room an' walkin' towards yours. . . somethin' must be fuckin' _me_, too.

Why the hell am I here, starin' at your door, you ugly bitch? Should I comfort you? 'Cause you sounded kinda. . . sad?

Nah. . . that's not my thing.

Should I just come in an' demand why you're actin' strange?

No. . . then you'd ask why I'm so concerned and, that, I don't know how to answer. Then again. . . why the fuck am I so caught up with how you're acting tonight? I hate that I subconsciously act on my own in the dark, when you sleep. I hate that I fuckin' submit to my subconscious desires.

But I hate that you don't know what I might do to you. An' I hate that my subconscious desire only wants you. Is that why?

I grunt in my thought.

_'Che, how the fuck should I know.'_

But hearin' you say you hate me, I'd kinda figure why anyone wouldn't. 'Cause I don't got the looks, right? 'Cause I ain't so nice to you, right? 'Cause I ain't what any decent girl's dream guy, right?

Even so, I hate that you look at Jin more. I hate that you fuckin' nag an' complain to me so much an' still be only nice to him. Do you like him that much?

I'd've killed him a long time ago for gettin' in my way, but your stupid promise is still alive.

You're too fuckin' positive.

Here I am in Hell, happily cuttin' off all connections to everyone, an' then you come to me with your hands an' ask me to protect you. I go and kill as much innocent humans as my hands can get, but you still fuckin' follow me. Shit, are you fuckin' blind, girl?

I ain't human.

Why the fuck do you follow me, lookin' so please to yourself that I'd keep my promise to you?Are you deaf? I cuss at you an' tell you to fuck off but you still tolerate them. What _is_ wrong with you? Don't I got enough evil in my eye to cast you away? Don't I got enough death in my hands to keep you away from me?

An' when you look at Jin, don't you see enough hatred in my blank face when you look or glare at me? When I saw you throwin' yourself against Jin last night, I can't help but feel self-hatred. That I've lost against him. That it wasn't _me_ you threw yourself on.

Is my body too filthy for you? Should I go bathe myself for two hours then. . . just so you can touch me? Do you want me to stop makin' out with women? Because that's something that might take a while unless I try hard not to look at 'em so much. I frown an' rake my fingers through my hair with unease.

Shit.

I don't even know why I fuckin' fancy you.

_"I really hate you, Mugen."_

I suck in my breath an' move the hand that froze an' rub my neck.

I look up my side, as if embarrassed but uncomfortable 'cause I wanted to see your face tonight from the beginning 'cause of what happened after dinner today. It's not even a pretty face. All I see are wrinkles in your face 'cause you're probably used to crinklin' your face when you see me.

My lips unconsciously begin to pout.

-

**Evening. . .**

_"Aaaahh. . . !" Fuu smiled and stretched her arms, "nothing like a good supper!"_

_If not this afternoon, Fuu had indeed gained the weight she had lost from the rounds of food and grew chubby again. She pushed her chair back a bit to leave room for her mega-sized stomach and leaned back with brand new satisfaction. _

_Although Mugen had eaten as much as she had, he was still as slim as he is yet pregnant with food. He belched rudely and scratched his neck. _

_"Excuse me, I'd like to go and freshen up a bit in the hot spring," Jin slowly stood up, nodded at Fuu politely and completely ignored Mugen's existence (although he did gave him a wary look) and left his clean bowl (Happy Combo C with the side dish, this time). _

_"Oh yeah, that's right!" she beamed, "free hot springs, too! And we only have till the next night to enjoy our time"—she got off to her feet (pried herself off the chair, actually)—"hey! wait up!"_

_Mugen snorted and looked at the fat girl with deadpan eyes but burrowed brows._

_"Have fun feelin'im up, busu." He tried to sound casual, adding a little glint of smirk on his lips._

_Fuu looked at him and frowned. When she realized what he had meant, she gave an enraged gasp and clenched her fists._

_"No way!" she screamed, "that wasn't what I meant, bastard!"_

_"Sounds like it," Mugen snorted, conscious to fact that her cheeks were flaring red. "Che, not like I fuckin' care, bitch. Be my guest. You're way too ugly."_

_"That's because you never do."_

_He looked at her for a second, and for just that short bit, they both had given each other enough reasons. _

_She, too, had left a brand of a poker-faced expression in her eyes that instantly vanished as she gave a noisy 'humph!' huff and stomped away. _

_"Fine, whatever, never mind," she exclaimed loudly, "I'll just go change and sleep if that makes you happy. . . jerk!"_

_He looked away, resisting the urge to break the table in pieces with his bare hands and slice someone who passed by with his sword. _

_At that time, he didn't give a crap notice that three women stalked him and was ready to ravish him any way they could. . . much too preoccupied with the heated thwart_ _within his chest._

-

I don't know whether to feel hurt or angry. I've heard lotsa people say that to me. But I was bothered that you, of all, would say it. 'Cause, that minute ago, the feeling I felt when I was alone before I meet you starts to rise up my stomach again, causing me to feel uncomfortable an' weird.

'Guess there's no use showin' myself to your face tonight after hearin' you say that. I turn an' walk the other way, where the exit is.

I hated life within the walls of hatred. I hated myself so much, I didn't give a shit 'bout what happened to nobody but my strength. There's no use lettin' someone like me live.

I got so many reasons to die.

Then again. . . I only got one reason to live.

That a small part of me might wonder if you would cry for me if I'm gone. That, maybe, you'd really worry if I die. Sometimes it's nice to think like that, 'cause it makes me stop killing my own soul. It stops me from creatin' a black hole in my heart, instead to start to slowly pile really tiny things about life that may fill my heart someday.

When you're havin' fun walking with Jin, I can't help but think how much I fuckin' hate you, too. That you act like Jin's your only bodyguard an' I'm just your fuckin' back-up. I hate that I still save you every time you're in trouble no matter how much I think you'd prefer Jin over me.

An' in the wilderness, where we sleep, my subconscious emotions can't help but thinkin' things I don't normally think I'm thinkin' when I wake up from the corner an' look at you with a pout while you sleep between us. You're facing Jin on the other side.

When I watch you for fuckin' forever, I wait till you turn 'round in your sleep an' fuckin' face _my_ direction. To actually see a face that ain't crinkled with anger or frustration but a soft an' smooth surface where you make a small pout only renderin' your upper lip lower over your bottom lip.

Then all thoughts become real an' realization hits me as much as I hate admittin' it. Without understandin', I wanna reach out an' touch your cheek, wonderin' why it's always so pink no matter it's cold or not. Without knowin', I watch you smile in your sleep, or twitch when you have nightmares.

Do you smile 'cause you dream of him? Do you flinch in your nightmares 'cause it's me? Unconsciously. . . but maybe consciously, too. . . I think to myself while I look at you; '_here I am. See me, stupid, 'cause I'm here, too._'

I don't fuckin' get you. But I understand only one thing; don't pick him or nobody else.

Fuu. . . _pick me._

I don't got nothin' else to lose but my self-centered pride. Nothin' else to keep but your existence, even just walking beside me as my self-conscious company.

Just to help me tame myself.

_Lookit, you blind woman! _

_I'm here, too!_

Don't dream 'bout nobody else.

Let it only be me.

-

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**Summer/Autumn of 1676... the next day:**

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They aren't lies.

I know 'cause the moment me an' Jin went back from buyin' the castilla, I knew you'd probably be gone by then. An' the me who wasn't being me that night would never forget. When I stare out the ocean at that fadin' boat where, I hope, you're on, I knew this was the end of the line for the three of us. We're goin' our separate ways again, ain't we?

Che.

It's 'kay. We've separated twice in the past but we ended up reunitin' again. But they say 'third time's a fuckin' charm'. An' maybe. . . we'd wind up bein' together again. Fuck that loser Jin.

This time, it'll onlybe just you an' me.

-

END. as was said, SIMPLICITY is the sequel. I'm really sorry... :'(


End file.
